Complicated Feeling

 Feb 2013

What a great month!

I do not know what happen to my heart

I do not know why I feel lonely

I do not understand how I can feel that I lost someone

I do not know at all.

Every time he came to my boarding house

Every time he greets me

Every time we meet

I feel a pain in the deep of my heart

A pain that come because I realize from the beginning

Whose girl he likes

Then, there is another boy who makes gloomy nights

Every time I see him with her

Every time I realize that we do not as close as before

Every day I feel he avoids me, ignores me.

There is a gap between us

Did I do a mistake?

Did I hurt him?

Or is it because there is another one who understands him better than me?

That lovable girl.

Now I do not know how to reveal this thing

I just try my best to make myself relax

Make my days cheerful

Make my times as happy as before

Before I meet the two boys

And before I belong to my ex-boy,

How come this happen to me?

I hate, I am tired

But I miss, I am jealous

This is about my ex-boy.

Once I cried

But my tears came out more and more

It was because of my memories of my ex,

It was not because of this uncomfortable feeling

But, why?

Again, I do not understand.

I know my ex-boy is not the best for me

And of course I myself am not the good one for him

My logic tell me that I am not match with him

Even now he forgets me

Oh really, I hate this complicated feeling which I cannot understand.

This is my heart, my own heart

But why I still do not recognize what actually my heart says

I do love my ex-boy

But I miss the one who make my nights gloomy

And I like the young one who makes me feel the pain.

Posted in: Personal Stories,Stories